You know, it’s amazing how social expectations change when you are pregnant. Questions from mere acquaintances pry into extremely private matters. Such as the popular question, “Were you trying?”
This question arises from the assumption that people are either trying to get pregnant or trying not to get pregnant. And it reflects a mentality that each pregnancy is either intended or accidental.
Our answer to this question was, “No.
But we weren’t not trying, either."
Which threw people off.
Read on.
Birth control. When we first got married, I was using the YAZ birth control pill. It was the new pill on the market and very popular (apparently). Just take it at the same time every day and you basically eliminate your chance of getting pregnant. Things I liked about it: shorter, lighter, more predictable periods. Things I disliked about it: accompanied weight gain, susceptibility to sickness, moodiness.
Nonetheless, I took the pill diligently for about the first few months. Then I started sensing God asking me to come off the pill and trust Him regarding my fertility. Trust that He could keep me from getting pregnant. I also began to hear Him say that He wanted to give us a child.
Well, frankly, I did not want a child. Not yet, anyways. But I was challenged by the Spirit to really truly trust God. This was hard for me, and to be honest, at first I did not trust or obey. Then one night I got sick and threw up shortly after taking the pill. I felt convicted and knew that God was asking me to stop taking birth control. My husband felt the same conviction.
So we stopped. That was in June 2008. And God was faithful. Sure enough, He is capable both to open the womb and to keep it shut.
All that to say, we weren’t trying. But also, we weren’t not trying.
Side note: YAZ birth control is now in the midst of several lawsuits for causing serious and life-threatening complications in women taking the pill. See more here.
I was really encouraged reading this blog. After Karl and I got engaged, I struggled for months with what to do with birth control. There were so many things running through my head, "Do I have the right to control whether I get pregnant? What if I decide to trust God and I get pregnant right away? We can't afford a baby, we don't have the time or the money! And shouldn't we be focusing on our marriage?"
ReplyDeleteI prayed about it for so long but felt no guidance. All my Christian married friends were on the pill so I decided to just go for it. Plus, I was running out of time. After reading this post, I know I wasn't the only person in the world worrying about these things. And seeing how you trusted God to take control of this situation, I'm hopeful. I'd laid the matter to rest, but this needs more prayer I think.
Kahlia,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! I was wondering if anyone is even reading this...haha. :-) Yeah...I wouldn't say that everyone should just not take any form of birth control, but this was our own personal walk with God in faith and what He called us to. And I have to say, it has been amazing how God has provided. He knows everything before it happens and he honors our faith. Little things: if I had stopped working even a couple days sooner than when I felt He released me, I wouldn't have gotten assistance from the state of California after Layla was born and we wouldn't have been able to pay our bills last month. And yet because of obedience, we were. It's just crazy. but yeah, I will pray for you as you pray for discernment and guidance! And pray for us too because we're back at the birth control question once again... :-)