Birth

My good friend Emily just had her baby boy, Elijah Kai, on Tuesday night! See her beautiful blog here. I am so excited for her--and especially because she was able to do it naturally! Which is really an amazing thing...

Having a natural birth (and by natural, I mean no drugs or synthetic hormones [ie. pitocin] or epidurals) is an incredible experience. I was able to have Layla without the drugs or epidural, and it was unbelievable. So intense but so amazing. It's impossible to describe the surge of emotions right after the baby is finally born. And labor itself is, of course, quite a lot of work! I have never in my life concentrated so hard or been so focused or so immersed in anything or experienced such intensity. But wow, what a payoff--to hold a beautiful brand new life in your arms. What a privilege.

Remembering back, one thing that helped me the most was to match my breath with the strength of each contraction. The stronger the contraction, the stronger I would inhale and exhale. Focusing more on matching its strength than thinking about the pain. That was helpful. And also simply surrendering to the process--to my body, to the sensations/pain. Birth is a sacred, powerful event...for me, it was something that opened my eyes to what Jesus Christ went through in surrendering his body to the will of God.

Here is an entry from my journal shortly after I had Layla:

In preparation for Layla's birth, i did a lot of reading and here's some things i thought were interesting, especially as it pertains to the biblical understanding of birth. First of all, Eve was never cursed. The snake is cursed and the ground is cursed but God never actualy curses adam or eve. Which is interesting and seldom noted by Christians unfortunately. Birth pains are a consequence but not a curse. Secondly, the Hebrew word used in the passage [estev] is the same for both the man and the woman's consequence. For the woman, English translators have termed it "pain" and for the man, they term it "toil". Curious, isn't it? It's the same exact word used, and in fact throughout the bible when this word is used, it is translated "toil" in all circumstances except for regarding women and childbirth. Not sure why translators have decided to do that--it's not exactly fair to the text or to women.

Now having gone through labor and without any pain medication, I will say this: there is an element of pain to be sure but this pain is magnified when resisted and becomes bearable only when accepted and surrendered to. Furthermore, it is the sort of experience or sensation (or toil, really) that involves a complete focus and total engagement with in order to endure and overcome it. And while it is excruciating and unbelievably intense, it is a beautiful thing when it has been accomplished and when it is finished. It is toil, it is labor, it is something that cannot be slept through or done half heartedly but must be met with total attention and will. It is definitely a very real "dying to oneself."

All that said without trying to show a parallel with Jesus Christ and his death, but when I reread it with that in mind, it is really quite amazing. Because that is exactly what He did for us on the cross. He made it possible for us to be born again--through him! Christ births us. And so isn't that incredible? Jesus labored on our behalf and we are born through him. But he is the one who had the complete focus and surrender and submission of his body to endure that process ordained by God in order that we might live. Truly incredible.

Going through labor and birth was an amazing experience for me. Unlike any other, out of this world, opened my eyes to a new reality in many ways. And it truly is different from pain as we understand it and as it occurs in other contexts. It is something wholly other. Not to say it doesn't hurt--oh to be sure it is overwhelming! But it is something amazing because it results in life. Through submission of my will and my body, through accepting the pain and laboring in that process of birth, God brought forth the new life of my daughter. Through Christ’s submission of his will and his body, through accepting the pain and laboring in that process of death, God offers us new life spiritually. In an incredible way, Christ conquered the last enemy (which is death) and is able to offer us life! His death was the necessary process through which we can have life. Christ had to be fully engaged, fully focused on the goal ahead. And when he had accomplished all that needed to be accomplished, He declared "It is finished." And now he has the reward of having children, that joy of having accomplished what He set out to do.

Layla and me just minutes after her birth.