Life

Well, Layla is full blown walking these days. She walks on the pavement, on the sidewalk, on the street, on the grass, on the sand...it's extraordinary. What happened to my baby?

She is also entering the terrible twos it appears...although she is not even one. This is bad news.

Tomorrow we are celebrating her birth day. It's hard to believe she's turning ONE. But exciting at the same time.

I am so over nursing. But I really want to press through at least until we arrive in Malaysia. I think having that continuity and comfort will be helpful for her during our travels and adjustment to a new country. If, then, she seems ready, I am more than ready to wean her. I am over being bit by sharp little teeth. If I was a lion, I would roar.

On a non-mommy note, I am participating in NaNoWriMo! For those who don't know (I didn't know until 3 days ago), November is National Novel Writing Month! There's a nation wide challenge for amateurs (like myself) or professionals to write a (minimum) 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. Since I've always wanted to write, this seemed like a fantastic impetus to do so.

Another note: we are going to Malaysia in less than 2 weeks! If you want to follow our trip there, I think we will be updating a family tumblr blog more regularly than this one: http://thematnix.tumblr.com

I love it: Than totally just sang Layla to sleep --with the star wars theme song.

HAH!

I am so blessed by this little girl's life.

Bath Time

At first I was skeptical of the whole bath routine thing, but I'm glad we stuck with it because now Layla LOVES her baths. When she hears the water start pouring out of the faucet, she races (on all fours) into the bathroom and clambers up the bathtub to watch. It's definitely something she looks forward to. And she knows it means bedtime soon. I think the predictability is good for her. Helps her little brain. :-)

Layla has gotten into resting her head on us when she's tired or just wants a few-second-rest before returning to her crazy explore everything routine. It's so endearing.

We're doing better on going-to-bed routines....she's much less screamy about it. Still not her fave but she is a trooper. What a great little girl.

Morning

Occasionally one of those days dawns that just begs to be put to good use, to go down in your memories, to live an adventure. Perhaps you saw the first glimmers of the sun, or maybe, like me, you awoke to see sunshine streaming through the blinds, twisting, bending, contorting itself around those very shades meant to block it out. But it would not be blocked. I like these mornings. A deep sigh, contented, delighted and refreshed that I actually was not awakenedbefore the sun came up. Amazed that I slept through the night, uninterrupted, and can enjoy the beauty of bright California sun with a yet quiet house. Still, peaceful, calm.

Soon the day begins, with its various needs and demands and responsibilities--but there was that initial calm. That beautiful calm.

And this particular day is just too stunning, too summery, too beautiful to be spent indoors, to fall into oblivion.

"The morning is when you charge into the future."

It did not take much conferring for Nathanael and me to decide that today ought not be spent indoors or at home or working or doing the same old. And so we spontaneously decided to claim our adventure ticket before it left home without us.

We walked the two blocks from our house to the train platform and boarded the train to Santa Barbara, whereabouts we took a stroll along the beach, walked down the pier, ate Clam Chowder and fish & chips (respectively), let Layla crawl along the waterfront, and generally had a most delightful time with each other.

And here I shall stop my rambling and let the photographs speak for themselves.

Jason Reeves' Music Video!!

The music video Nathanael made for Jason Reeves' new single "Helium Hearts" is finally released! Check it out....

helium hearts from HESCHLE on Vimeo.

sleep

Well Layla's cold developed into an ear infection, accompanied by several long days of high fevers and a very fussy baby. Poor thing. But I am delighted to report that she is feeling much much better now. She even slept through the night the last few nights, which has also been highly instrumental in allowing me to finally get over this cold. I never realized how virtually impossible it would be to recover from a cold/sickness when unable to have a full night's rest. Praise God for a deep night's sleep! What a gift.

Thoughts

My mom got a cat today. Well, more accurately, I gave her a cat for her birthday. Hope Dad doesn't kill me.

He's a beautiful dainty Siamese kitty with dark grey ears and paws and tail, blended into a light grey body. And gorgeous ice blue eyes.

Beautiful thing.

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I am sick again. Thanks, Layla.

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Flowers are all throughout our home. I love you Nathanael.

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The past few weeks the sun has been fighting with the fog, trying to see who will win over the coveted Carpinteria space. Most summer long the fog has won. Maybe now that we're more than half way through September we'll finally get our summer?

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Musician Jason Reeves just released a single Helium Hearts which you should absolutely check out. Our friend Josh Newton took a bunch of pictures used on his new website, and my very own Nathanael made his music video (which is coming out any day now!!).

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I have a painting project currently being undertaken and I am considering trying my hand at children's books. It may just stop with Layla, but I would like to give it a try. Anyone interested in doing the artwork?

Sorry for the random uncohesiveness of this post. I blame the cold Layla gave me.

Love

Watching some video footage of Layla tonight, I am staggered and overwhelmed by the love I have for her. It is SO deep, SO full, so beautiful and good. I mean, honestly, this pride and love wells up in me just watching her drink from her sippy cup so independently! Haha, it sounds ridiculous (I know, it wasn't that long ago I was single and responsibility-less without a kid) but it is true! I am so proud of her for being able to drink water on her own and just for how beautiful she is and how grown-up she's getting. It is profound and gives a whole new level of understanding of the love that parents have for their children. Helps me realize how much my own parents love me and also how much God loves us, that He would call us His children. Amazing.

This evening Nathanael was sitting in the chair in Layla's room and Layla was playing on the ground. She found one of her many board books, grabbed it, crawled over to Than with the book in her hand and got his attention by tapping his leg and looking up expectantly. He picked her up and she nestled in on his lap, sitting back, ready to be read the book.

How cute is that?!?! She is becoming such a big girl!!!

doubled existence

Layla is 9 months old today! Which means she has officially doubled her existence (9 months inside, 9 month outside) and from here on out, more of her life will be out in the real world than in the cozy confines of the womb. And she is quite adept in her world these days...crawling (race crawling) throughout our home, playing chase (her favorite) with me, giggling, squealing with delight.

We celebrated by getting cupcakes from Whodidily with a friend Penelope who was also born Nov 10th!

She tried curry the other day for the first time, and she loved it. Good thing or we might've disowned her. Haha, JUST KIDDING! But we are excited that she enjoyed it. Her meal yesterday was straight off our plates: rice, lentils, potato, curry (squished together, but still, pretty close!). It is so much fun these days. She's definitely more trouble too. We had to put a baby gate around Than's work area..haha. She enjoyed the printer and his hard drives a little too much.

Other news...Santa Barbara just had their annual Fiesta celebration of the Old Spanish Days. That was terrific fun. Nathanael and I got in a date thanks to my mom (thanks Mom!). We even bought some confetti eggs and smashed them on each others' head to join in the festivities.

And we had shave ice (as they call it here).

So much fun. I love this age!!!

Nursery

We have finally (mostly) finished Layla's nursery. :-) Yay.

I made the paper balls (they weren't that hard actually). The hanging pictures are above her changing table, which is causing a problem because Layla finds great joy in pulling them down....

sunday

buttery sunlight

happy giggles

creamy skin

world of wonder

trying new things

baby aroma, awaken from a nap

shrieks of delight

burrowing in blankets

cuddling on my lap

reading books together

devouring a peach

learning how to tumble

falling asleep

peaceful

at rest

still

sweet happyness

delighting in love

the love of a family

so blessed,

so blessed.

Baby Food

So far I have hand made all of Layla's baby food. Which actually hasn't been as hard as I thought and has been a lot of fun! It's nice to have a little baby puree thing, but it isn't necessary. Most food you simply steam and then blend and serve. You can make enough to refrigerate some and then freeze any that won't be eaten in the next few days.

I have especially enjoyed getting organic local veggies and then serving them to Layla! We have an awesome Farmer's Market, and my awesome mom has an amazing garden that she generously gives much of its produce for the little one. :-)

Automatic Release Point (Best Trick EVER!)

If you have ever been around a baby, you may have noticed that they LOVE to grab things. And prying their little fingers off can be quite a challenge! The more you pull it away, the harder they cling onto it. So here is a trick I learned while camping, from our friends who learned it from an occupational therapist: take your index finger and thumb and place them on either side of the closed fist (at the palm level), press firmly (but not too hard), and the fingers will release. Watch the video below for a demo (and better understanding). :-)

Rugged Exposure: Our Camping Trip!

Layla went on her first camping trip! Well, technically her second (since we went camping in Death Valley when I was about 8 weeks pregnant). But her first that she could appreciate! And she was quite the trooper. As is typical for her, she had a rough time falling asleep and definitely didn't clock the number of hours she needs for true rest, but it was enough. I fared worse than her, thanks to the annoying group across the creek that wouldn't be quiet until 1:30 am and then the drunk dude upstream that decided to serenade the camp with guitar at 4:30 in the morning. But other than that, it was fun to be in a tent again and out in the woods!

We took her pack 'n play, so she had half the tent....haha. We also took her Deuter Kid Comfort III which we just bought on Thursday! So excited to use it---it was GREAT! She took a nap in it during our hike and the sun roof kept the sun almost entirely off her. Also used a fantastic sunscreen from Australia (it's called Soleo Organics; I bought it from Summer for Kids in Montecito).

From finding a beautiful refreshing waterfall (with a hidden cave underneath it to crawl through!!) to going on a stinkin' hot hike in the backcountry of the Los Padres National Park, to finishing it off with a swim in a wild lake, it was quite a wonderful trip. S'mores, views of the stars, the creek singing a gentle lullaby throughout the night (with aforementioned disruptions of noisy laughing neighbors and drunk guitarists), baby's first skinny dipping experience, sweating like a mad cow, driving through the forest, hanging out with friends--a wonderful camping extravaganza.

Unfortunately I didn't realize how hot I got, cuz I came down with heat exhaustion and we had to return early. :-( But the trip was a blast. Can't wait to do it again!! Maybe not on the hottest weekend of the summer next time...that would be better I daresay.

Stay tuned because on my next post I am planning on sharing with you the best trick I've learned for dealing with a baby!!!! You will want to know this trick if you ever anticipate having or being near a child ;-)

Going to the Beach!

the layla and mommy beach video from HESCHLE on Vimeo.

My husband is amazing. I love how this little video captures the beauty and joy of taking our 8 month old to the beach!! So simple, so beautiful.

Reconciliation

"This isn't just about winning. It can't be about winning. If we only want to win, then there will always be losers, and how is that so different from the way things were? This has always been about the big picture, about moving on together."

I read this quote in the June 2010 National Geographic article on South Africa. The man who said it is a mediator, a black man who is willing to get dirty and get involved in messy situations and deal with the compications of reconciliation.

It is so true. Whether it be reconciliation between two groups of people (or more) who have had racial hostility for generations or between two individuals who have hurt each other over the years, this remains the same: it cannot be about winning! Winning, or even picking a side, is completely unhelpful AND misses the point. The point is to move on together, to be reconciled, to learn to coexist and maybe even be friends.

For My Husband

I was looking through a bunch of photos today and, I gotta say, I love my husband! What a sweet man of God he is. It's amazing that he loves me, really, especially since he's known me since eighth grade and loved me throughout my not-so-lovely middle school days. Nathanael, I think you're the bestest ever.

Guess what?

When did "we have exciting news" become code for "we're pregnant"? That's what I want to know.

Not that I am negating the exciting-ness of new life and pregnancy. I am not at all intending to do so. But it gets a little old when you say "Guess what?" or "We have exciting news!" and people (random people) jump in "You're pregnant!" um, no. Actually, and thankfully. Not ready for another one just yet.

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Part Two: Updates

Layla is now sleeping through the night! For the past four nights at least. I hate to make it official because that means she will probably wake up multiple times tonight just to prove me wrong.

Layla is also crawling (like real, official crawling) and pulling herself up (although only onto her knees, not feet) and eating real food (her favorites are banana and carrots) and otherwise being her simply delightful self.

She's quite the fun little person. Very determined. When she wants to do something or get something, she is not easily deterred. She doesn't cry or whine when thwarted--instead she reevaluates and figures out how to get it another way. Persistent.

I love this girl.

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Part III: Plans

-Camping this weekend!

-Passport in the mail!

-International flight coming up in four months!!!!!! (that is our exciting news :-) guess where we're going?!)

Nursery Inspiration

Just wanted to send you all a cool website my friend Emily showed me the other day...it's www.ohdeedoh.com and they have tons of inspirational nurseries.

A few of my favorite rooms:

I absolutely LOVE the map in this room! Sooooo cool.

The balls hanging over her crib are so cute! I think I want to make some of my own and hang them in Layla's room. :-) Martha Stewart gives instructions on how to make them here.

City skyline? What a cute idea!!

This is my absolute favorite room I think....check out more of the images here. If only I could design like this....

Birth

My good friend Emily just had her baby boy, Elijah Kai, on Tuesday night! See her beautiful blog here. I am so excited for her--and especially because she was able to do it naturally! Which is really an amazing thing...

Having a natural birth (and by natural, I mean no drugs or synthetic hormones [ie. pitocin] or epidurals) is an incredible experience. I was able to have Layla without the drugs or epidural, and it was unbelievable. So intense but so amazing. It's impossible to describe the surge of emotions right after the baby is finally born. And labor itself is, of course, quite a lot of work! I have never in my life concentrated so hard or been so focused or so immersed in anything or experienced such intensity. But wow, what a payoff--to hold a beautiful brand new life in your arms. What a privilege.

Remembering back, one thing that helped me the most was to match my breath with the strength of each contraction. The stronger the contraction, the stronger I would inhale and exhale. Focusing more on matching its strength than thinking about the pain. That was helpful. And also simply surrendering to the process--to my body, to the sensations/pain. Birth is a sacred, powerful event...for me, it was something that opened my eyes to what Jesus Christ went through in surrendering his body to the will of God.

Here is an entry from my journal shortly after I had Layla:

In preparation for Layla's birth, i did a lot of reading and here's some things i thought were interesting, especially as it pertains to the biblical understanding of birth. First of all, Eve was never cursed. The snake is cursed and the ground is cursed but God never actualy curses adam or eve. Which is interesting and seldom noted by Christians unfortunately. Birth pains are a consequence but not a curse. Secondly, the Hebrew word used in the passage [estev] is the same for both the man and the woman's consequence. For the woman, English translators have termed it "pain" and for the man, they term it "toil". Curious, isn't it? It's the same exact word used, and in fact throughout the bible when this word is used, it is translated "toil" in all circumstances except for regarding women and childbirth. Not sure why translators have decided to do that--it's not exactly fair to the text or to women.

Now having gone through labor and without any pain medication, I will say this: there is an element of pain to be sure but this pain is magnified when resisted and becomes bearable only when accepted and surrendered to. Furthermore, it is the sort of experience or sensation (or toil, really) that involves a complete focus and total engagement with in order to endure and overcome it. And while it is excruciating and unbelievably intense, it is a beautiful thing when it has been accomplished and when it is finished. It is toil, it is labor, it is something that cannot be slept through or done half heartedly but must be met with total attention and will. It is definitely a very real "dying to oneself."

All that said without trying to show a parallel with Jesus Christ and his death, but when I reread it with that in mind, it is really quite amazing. Because that is exactly what He did for us on the cross. He made it possible for us to be born again--through him! Christ births us. And so isn't that incredible? Jesus labored on our behalf and we are born through him. But he is the one who had the complete focus and surrender and submission of his body to endure that process ordained by God in order that we might live. Truly incredible.

Going through labor and birth was an amazing experience for me. Unlike any other, out of this world, opened my eyes to a new reality in many ways. And it truly is different from pain as we understand it and as it occurs in other contexts. It is something wholly other. Not to say it doesn't hurt--oh to be sure it is overwhelming! But it is something amazing because it results in life. Through submission of my will and my body, through accepting the pain and laboring in that process of birth, God brought forth the new life of my daughter. Through Christ’s submission of his will and his body, through accepting the pain and laboring in that process of death, God offers us new life spiritually. In an incredible way, Christ conquered the last enemy (which is death) and is able to offer us life! His death was the necessary process through which we can have life. Christ had to be fully engaged, fully focused on the goal ahead. And when he had accomplished all that needed to be accomplished, He declared "It is finished." And now he has the reward of having children, that joy of having accomplished what He set out to do.

Layla and me just minutes after her birth.

Thoughts and a cool website

I do apologize for the lack of posting...life just seems to speed up sometimes. It's like when we go to the beach, and Layla incessantly tries to pick up the sand in her fist and taste it--by the time it has reached her mouth, it has slipped through her fingers back onto the ground. That's how time is...elusive, speeding by. And so I have been living in the moment, savoring each laugh and giggle and wrassle and tassle with this darling little girl. :-) Oh she is precious. What a gift!

Enough--it's hard not to go on and on and on about her. Perhaps you won't understand until you have one of your own. But when you fall in love with someone, every little thing just makes you smile and you just want to treasure it and remember it forever. We ought to make another little video of her, speaking of.

But what I meant this blog post to be about (really I did have a vision for this, not just to ramble on and on) is this cool website: www.babysteals.com You should most certainly check it out--each day they have a new "steal" with baby and maternity gear on sale for up to 80% off. Super cool.

Development

Have I mentioned that Layla is crawling? Well, she is. Sort of.

She drags her lower body by her hands, and sometimes flails her legs about in an effort to hurl herself in a forward direction. Nonetheless she has become quite adept at traveling to and from power cords and flip flops--her favorite toys to chew on.

Her little (big) personality emerges more and more each day. She is a delightful, fiesty, loving, sassy, determined, adorable, sweet, beautiful, strong-willed, cuddly, smart, curious, alert, knowing, playful, giggly, talkative, hilarious little girl. She is so much fun, so much energy, so much a part of our lives.

The other day she choked on something--still not sure if it was the sand she swallowed at the beach, the leaf she chewed on in the yard, or something I didn't even see her get into her mouth. That was scary. I was glad I took an infant CPR class (although thankfully it didn't get to the point where she stopped breathing) so I knew what position to hold her in to help dislodge whatever it was that was making it hard for her to breathe. Scary.

Well she's up from her nap. Gotta go.

Friends visit!

Our dear friends came and visited from Colorado! It was simply wonderful to see them and meet their baby girl. What a cutie! Jonny and Emily are some of the sweetest most loving people and truly delightful to hang out with. We enjoyed showing them little Carpinteria and we discovered this amazing collectibles shop. So fun. :-)

Emily and I decided it is unfair that these little girls always feel obligated to do their worst to their mommies and let their daddies off the hook. For example, both of us have been peed on, pooed on, spat up on, et cetera--while their fathers never experience anything of the sort! :-) Speaking of which, Layla spat up directly in my eyeball yesterday. I could not believe it. And what's worse is the spit up was mixed with sand (since she had managed to get some sand from the beach in her mouth earlier in the day...). Yuck.

Be Ethical, get Educated

Lately I have been thinking a lot about ethical buying. It's easy to just look for the cheapest prices and forget that someone somewhere had to grow that, make that, sew that. And often the cheapest prices are cheap because that someone somewhere has subsidized the cost by receiving a poverty wage. And really, my choice to buy from a producer who is impoverishing working women in order to sell me clothing for dirt cheap prices--well this is really just modern slavery in a way. It allows me to grow wealthy but at the expense of a sister in a far off land. Am I okay with slavery? NO.

I want to do more research and learn about which companies are employing ethical standards in who they purchase from. I am not okay with buying an article of clothing that a teenage girl slaved away on. I want to put pressure on retailers, on brands, to say that I will pay more for things so that the workers in Bangladesh, Thailand, Indonesia, China will get paid more.

If you're with me, check out this website. And read this research article. Here in the USA, Walmart is definitely the biggest culprit. Check out this website for more on Walmart and for what YOU can do to help.

Firsts...

Layla loves playing in the sand...

....and I do too. :-)

Other firsts in the past few days: first time in the shopping cart baby-seat, first time in a Target, first time in the nursery at church, first time having oatmeal, first time in a high chair, and first beginnings of crawling! Seems like she's the same for a few weeks and then boom-you get a whole slew (slough?) of firsts all at once.

So much fun lately. We love this little one.

Cooking!

I'm starting a cooking blog, just for fun. If you find yourself (like me) wanting more inspiration, more variety in your meals, feel free to check it out for some things I'm trying. :-)

http://805kitchen.blogspot.com

Baby Gear

Did I already mention the sleep sheep? Let me mention it again. Sleep Sheep.

You must have this thing if your child is anything like mine. For the active, fun-loving child who does not want to stop socializing and sleep, this thing is essential. I don't know how we got by without it. Oh yeah, with lots of screaming. I remember.

This is way better!

And if anyone wants to get me something, here is the latest item of baby gear. I want it! So cool! Introducing the Baby Bjorn Travel Crib Light. It is super light, easy to assemble...perfect for traveling, essentially. Let me know if you want to give it to me. :-)

Breastfeeding

We are back! Back from our trip away. It is wonderful to be home.

Today we started solids with Layla! I would like to commend myself for being the sole source of nourishment for another human being for over 15 months. Yay me! :-) Breastfeeding has definitely not always been easy or enjoyable, but I am full of deep joy that I was able to give my daughter this gift. And I'm not done with breastfeeding, but from here on out, other food will also be part of her diet.

All research shows the benefits of breastfeeding, and studies are now finding that it is best to wait until the baby is six months or older before introducing solids. This is the recommendation of the WHO as well, but some American doctors are a bit behind. At any rate, I am glad to have given this to Layla and yeah, that's all for now. :-)

Flight

Layla had her first flight yesterday! She was fantastic, I couldn't even believe it. She usually has a really hard time sleeping in new situations...she is simply too interested in everything going on around her, which then leads to overstimulation and lots of fussing, which makes falling asleep even harder for her. Needless to say, I was a little concerned about our flight to Detroit.

Three things which were lifesavers for us: 1) The Sleep Sheep. 2) The Moby Wrap. 3) Nursing cover. This blog post will inform parents, parents-to-be, and people looking for presents for the aforementioned blocs of the many wonders of these products.

1) The Sleep Sheep.

This thing is truly amazing. Especially if you find yourself with a baby who resists sleep, like ours. And let's be honest, you can try to train your baby, but ultimately she is who she is and you just have to work with her! This thing has four white noise settings: stream, rain, ocean, whale. The name explains the sound. Layla fell asleep to the stream. And stayed asleep. For an hour and a half, in the midst of airport loudspeaker announcements, a crazy family who missed their flight and decided to let the entire airport know about it, boarding, and (yes, get this) take-off. That's right, the sleep sheep kept her asleep till we were at maybe 5,000 feet. And she was much more rested and happy than if she hadn't slept, I can guarantee that!

2) The Moby Wrap.

This thing is super versatile. There's one way to wrap it, but about six different ways for baby to sit in it, based on her age and development. It holds her snug and close, keeping her comfortable and feeling safe. Also it positions her body properly unlike a lot of baby carriers (for example, the baby bjorn) which force their legs too far apart and can cause hip problems. Layla is not one of those babies who would sleep in my arms--just too many things to distract her. The Moby helps her sleep, and lets my hands be free to do things. In my opinion, the downside is that it is extremely warm (because of the body heat and the fabric) so may not be the best choice in hot places.

3) Nursing cover.

These are great for nursing, but they also function as eye blinders. Once your baby's eyesight becomes developed, she will just want to look at everything! Which is awesome, except when what she needs is to sleep. Layla has a hard time zoning out, so we have to help her. The nursing cover limits what she can look at. I highly recommend being creative.

And here are pictures to illustrate! From our flight yesterday...

♥ Love ♥

If I say I love but do not play with her, hold her, feed her, talk to her, sing to her, cuddle her, comfort her, kiss her, change her, bathe her, what sort of love is that? A mere emotional feeling is not the same as love. Love acts, it moves, it goes beyond itself, ever reaching out, ever moving forward, ever engaging and partaking. It is not static, and if it retreats, is it real at all?

If God says He is love but never moves beyond the words into action, what sort of "love" would that be? And yet it is clear by looking at the story of God's presence in the world as recorded in the Bible and witnessed throughout the ages that He does indeed love, and He is indeed love, for we find that this God is ever engaging with humanity, reaching out to us, drawing us near to Himself, clothing us, cleaning us, feeding us, giving us meaning, providing us with relationship, teaching us, talking to us, singing over us, holding us, and in every way making it possible (if we so choose to accept) for us to experience the love He is.

Salt Marsh

Today we went for a walk in the Carpinteria Salt Marshes, a beautiful preserved part of the California coastlands. While on our walk we saw a red fox, mallard ducks, rabbits, and lots of shore birds.

Living here has been so wonderfully peaceful. The culture of this little beach town is so different from Santa Barbara! It is incredibly laid back and relaxed. We are loving it.

Karen Winters' depiction of the Salt Marshes where we were this morning.

Slowly but Surely

Slowly but surely we are getting settled in to our new home! The two bedrooms (ours and Layla's) have been painted and furnished. The living room remains yet to be perfected.... :-) In the meantime we have established quite an adorable routine for Layla's bed & nap time, which involves snuggling with her kitty cat from Great Grandma and Grandpa in Florida. She has been introduce to water in a sippy cup, and she very avidly loves sticking it in her mouth and sucking on it! She hasn't got the hang of swallowing the water just yet, but she sure enjoys making a mess all over the couch and floor and her shirt. And, believe it or not, she is in the early stages of learning to crawl: pulling her legs up under her and scooting forward.

Poem

Nathanael was in Sonoma this weekend, shooting a photographer shooting a wedding. We actually do a lot of that--promotional videos for photographers (see www.forphotographers.heschle.com)

Anyways, he brought me home soaps, chocolates, wine, and a poem. Enjoy.

Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
I love you because I know no other way

In which there is no I or you
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand
so intimate that when you fall asleep it is my eyes that close.

Sleep

Since our move to Carpinteria on the 1st, Layla has been thrown off. Which has expressed itself primarily in the form of lots of screaming and little sleep. She has always had an aversion to nap time and bed time, perhaps because she is a little socialite and hates to be left alone in her crib. Napping in the car or stroller isn't a problem, but boy does she ever let us know her distaste for napping in her crib!

Well it has become quite unreasonable and so the past two days we decided we needed to put an end to her stubborness as it relates to sleep. We probably should have done this earlier, but we didn't. Anyways, the last two days we have made her stay in her crib regardless of how long and furiously she screamed about it. We sang to her and tried things to help her calm down--but would not actually take her out until after she had napped.

Letting a child "cry it out" is one of the hardest things to do. Because you love them. And to say "crying" isn't really adequate. It's more like piercing screams, pitiful heart-wrenching sobs of desperation. It's one thing to listen to someone else's kid cry, quite another to hear your own. But I am learning that the best thing for her (and for us) is not to let her have her own way or to give in.

She will be a happier baby if she can learn to sleep when she is tired without screaming for a solid half hour first. She will be a happier person if she can learn that she cannot be rescued out of every hard or unwanted situation but must be able to comfort herself and get through it.

Growing up is hard.

Growing Up

Last night Layla slept in her own room. It was so weird falling asleep without hearing her breathe. Makes me feel like my little baby is all grown up.

I didn't think I'd miss her. But I definitely did. Both of us did. Weird.

Oh Layla, you've changed our lives forever. And we love you. You've made your way into our hearts, and we will never be the same. It's hard to believe how fast you're growing up already. We love every moment with you. I will be sure to shower you with extra kisses when you wake up from your nap.

Love

Having a child takes love to a whole new level. In a good way.

I feel more deeply, I love more fully, I laugh more sincerely, my heart delights in life. Children are indeed a gift from God. How precious and wonderful that He entrusts us with them! It's hard to imagine that one day she will no longer want to snuggle, no more laugh at the smallest things I do, no longer cling to me. I am living this up, enjoying every moment of her at this age. She is precious. My heart swells with love and pride and delight and joy in her.

I am so thankful to God for this baby. It gives me a glimpse of how He must feel toward each of us. Now when I see a person, I think to myself, "How I feel about Layla is how God feels about them." Staggering. Such love. Such such tremendous love God has for us! And what is man that you are mindful of him?

The love of God is staggering. Amazing. Incredible. Breathtaking. Beautiful.

Local Politics

This is for fellow 805 area code people and any others who care about local Santa Barbara issues. :-) We are moving to Carpinteria on Friday and it appears that a oil company wants to move in too. Blech. Vote on Measure J.

Measure J (Venoco's Oil Drilling Initiative) from Ted Rhodes on Vimeo.

sea

In honor of Nathanael's birthday, we went on a surprise whale watching cruise. Being on the water made me realize just how much I have missed being on the water! The ocean is so vast, so calming, so relaxing. It's a different world out on the water. Somehow your cares and concerns seem to float away as all you focus on is the peaceful lapping of the water, the playful dancing of dolphins, the beautiful relationship of a mother gray whale and her calf making their migratory route to find food in colder waters. Add to that scores of jellyfish, sky diving pelicans, and bobbing sea lions...it made for a fantastic day.

I love the ocean.

Happy Earth Day, earth.

Happy Birth Day, Nathanael.

spring flowers

I love flowers.

And my family.

If you are wanting to see some incredible images, check out this website: http://www.klphotoawards.com/ And you can cast your vote for your favorite.

Quote

I read an interesting quote today on a designer's website. I think it is true.

"I believe what you wear on the outside affects who you are on the inside. It is so much easier to be kind when you feel beautiful. You know this is true." -Heidi Merrick

www.heidimerrick.com

Craigslist

I love meeting random people through craigslist! It makes me feel so happy to live in such a nice, trusting town. Today we met 3 different family units through buying furniture off craigslist. Great deals, great people, great day.

One family recognized me from eating at a Thai food place on Milpas a couple weeks ago. They remembered Layla's name because now they're considering that name for their little girl on the way. :-) Another family's home burned down in the Jesusita fire and they're selling the furniture they had bought to use in their rental home while their home was being rebuilt. The third family was just super awesome people who are downsizing to a studio because that's all they can afford in this ridiculously expensive city. A sense of community is so much fun. Meeting people and connecting with them, even though they're strangers. Turns out meeting new people isn't that hard--you just have to get out of your normal social circles. And apparently buying things on craigslist is a good way to do so!

Yay. Sometimes I am just so full of happiness. What a great day.

Moving!

We are moving! Not super far away...just 20 miles down to road to the cute little town of Carpinteria. We are super excited, although we have absolutely loved living here in Santa Barbara as well. Nonetheless we are excited to move forward on this and into a bigger space for our growing family. Layla will have her own room (hooray!) which means that we also will get our own room (yippee!). We will have a dryer for the first time in my life and will live only a couple blocks from the beach and a couple blocks from our church. Farmer's Market will be a block away on Thursday afternoons and the grocery store across the street! I cannot wait. This will be the smallest town I've ever lived in, and I am so excited about it. :-) Who wants to come visit?!

And now the fun begins! What color should Layla's room be? What style dining room table should we get? Where should we buy a couch from?

Embrace your Life

I read a most profound statement over on Bobby Earle's blog today. It hit me in the face, because I totally do this and I need to stop! The last two years have been a gradual learning process to live in the here and now, to stop chasing after elusive "adventure", to stop idolizing travel and its excitements, to embrace and enjoy the life around me that God has blessed me with. I think I am beginning to make this lesson a part of who I am instead of fighting it. And thank you Bobby, because this was exactly what I needed to hear:

"Traveling is awesome if you have the opportunity — but the truth is that the good life is all around us. If you can’t find it at home, you likely won’t find it anywhere ;)"

Exercise during Pregnancy

Read this interesting article about exercise during pregnancy. Synopsis: study shows that light exercise during pregnancy may improve overall child health later on. Read the full article here.

Parenting: A Dance of Love

I've been thinking a lot about parenting. There are so many different theories and opinions.

Lately I've been thinking of parenting as a dance. There is a give and take between parent and child, a push and pull. We adapt to her, she adapts to us. Of course one of us must be the leader and the other the follower, but we are not drill sergeants. And neither is she boss. But in love, we engage each other in this dance, ever learning, ever moving forward. Swirling, twirling, stepping in rhythm. This is a dance of love.

Happy Pesach

Today I spent the day cleaning. Scrubbing things down, cleaning things out. It was much needed.

While cleaning, I remembered God's faithfulness to His people. That He sees when a people is suffering and oppressed, and He hears their cries for help, and He will answer. God saves. Miraculously, sometimes. Our God is a God who saves. He was faithful to save His people out of Egypt and He is faithful today. Tonight we remember when God spared the firstborn of Abraham's descendants and delivered them from their oppressors.

Video Shoot

Just a quick image from our shoot with Richelle Dante...you can see more images from the shoot by clicking here.

We had so much fun working with Richelle! Nathanael is currently in process of editing it together right now, and it is looking fantastic. Stay tuned.

PR

For my readers from Southeast Asia, and anyone else,

whatever your political views,

who doesn't love nasi goreng?

Oh it always makes my day to hear Bahasa Indonesia.

Flower Power

Yesterday we at Heschle Video Production did a shoot with Richelle Dante, a fabulous photographer from Orange County area. It was super fun--she had an awesome vision for an intro video for her website (stay tuned, it'll be here in not too long at all!). Needless to say, we had a great day filming for her project. Check out her website here.

When it was all over, we still had two bags of flower petals, so this morning Layla and I made good use of them. :-) Here is my favorite shot from the day...

Disneyland - "The Happiest Place on Earth"

Oh Disneyland... :-)

We went to Disneyland on Monday with Nathanael's sister and her boyfriend who were visiting from Kentucky and with my parents. I never understood before how my mom would be happy just to have us kids happy. But now I understand. My happiest moments were when Layla finally fell asleep for a nap and when she met Mickey Mouse and smiled. Going on rides myself wasn't all that exciting, especially because I was always concerned about Layla. Sigh. Having a kid wrestles selfishness away (or at least highlights its presence).

Lessons from the day: Kids get CRANKY when they miss their naps! Oh my goodness, so ironic because over the loudspeakers they keep proclaiming "Disneyland, the happiest place on earth" but seriously everywhere we looked there were kids screaming and crying and throwing fits (including our own), especially as the day crept into the afternoon and naps were being forsaken for rides. It was truly amusing. Would have made a great little video. Not for promoting Disney though...

Layla refused to nap. Practically the whole day, which is crazy cuz she usually fits in about 4 - 5 hours worth of naps during a day. The more tired she got, the more overstimulated she got, the more she fought sleep. It was not fun.

And she was super ornery about her stroller. Would not have it. Only wanted to be held. Which brings me to lesson #2: be sure to practice things before you really need them. This applies to baby sitting in stroller, baby being held in Moby or other wrap (which we have done repeatedly so she's real good about it), using a bottle, using a pacifier, playing on her own, etc etc.

Enough! I will try to apply these lessons in the future but probably will forget by then. :-) In the meantime, thanks for reading!