Morning

Occasionally one of those days dawns that just begs to be put to good use, to go down in your memories, to live an adventure. Perhaps you saw the first glimmers of the sun, or maybe, like me, you awoke to see sunshine streaming through the blinds, twisting, bending, contorting itself around those very shades meant to block it out. But it would not be blocked. I like these mornings. A deep sigh, contented, delighted and refreshed that I actually was not awakenedbefore the sun came up. Amazed that I slept through the night, uninterrupted, and can enjoy the beauty of bright California sun with a yet quiet house. Still, peaceful, calm.

Soon the day begins, with its various needs and demands and responsibilities--but there was that initial calm. That beautiful calm.

And this particular day is just too stunning, too summery, too beautiful to be spent indoors, to fall into oblivion.

"The morning is when you charge into the future."

It did not take much conferring for Nathanael and me to decide that today ought not be spent indoors or at home or working or doing the same old. And so we spontaneously decided to claim our adventure ticket before it left home without us.

We walked the two blocks from our house to the train platform and boarded the train to Santa Barbara, whereabouts we took a stroll along the beach, walked down the pier, ate Clam Chowder and fish & chips (respectively), let Layla crawl along the waterfront, and generally had a most delightful time with each other.

And here I shall stop my rambling and let the photographs speak for themselves.

sleep

Well Layla's cold developed into an ear infection, accompanied by several long days of high fevers and a very fussy baby. Poor thing. But I am delighted to report that she is feeling much much better now. She even slept through the night the last few nights, which has also been highly instrumental in allowing me to finally get over this cold. I never realized how virtually impossible it would be to recover from a cold/sickness when unable to have a full night's rest. Praise God for a deep night's sleep! What a gift.

Love

Watching some video footage of Layla tonight, I am staggered and overwhelmed by the love I have for her. It is SO deep, SO full, so beautiful and good. I mean, honestly, this pride and love wells up in me just watching her drink from her sippy cup so independently! Haha, it sounds ridiculous (I know, it wasn't that long ago I was single and responsibility-less without a kid) but it is true! I am so proud of her for being able to drink water on her own and just for how beautiful she is and how grown-up she's getting. It is profound and gives a whole new level of understanding of the love that parents have for their children. Helps me realize how much my own parents love me and also how much God loves us, that He would call us His children. Amazing.

This evening Nathanael was sitting in the chair in Layla's room and Layla was playing on the ground. She found one of her many board books, grabbed it, crawled over to Than with the book in her hand and got his attention by tapping his leg and looking up expectantly. He picked her up and she nestled in on his lap, sitting back, ready to be read the book.

How cute is that?!?! She is becoming such a big girl!!!

doubled existence

Layla is 9 months old today! Which means she has officially doubled her existence (9 months inside, 9 month outside) and from here on out, more of her life will be out in the real world than in the cozy confines of the womb. And she is quite adept in her world these days...crawling (race crawling) throughout our home, playing chase (her favorite) with me, giggling, squealing with delight.

We celebrated by getting cupcakes from Whodidily with a friend Penelope who was also born Nov 10th!

She tried curry the other day for the first time, and she loved it. Good thing or we might've disowned her. Haha, JUST KIDDING! But we are excited that she enjoyed it. Her meal yesterday was straight off our plates: rice, lentils, potato, curry (squished together, but still, pretty close!). It is so much fun these days. She's definitely more trouble too. We had to put a baby gate around Than's work area..haha. She enjoyed the printer and his hard drives a little too much.

Other news...Santa Barbara just had their annual Fiesta celebration of the Old Spanish Days. That was terrific fun. Nathanael and I got in a date thanks to my mom (thanks Mom!). We even bought some confetti eggs and smashed them on each others' head to join in the festivities.

And we had shave ice (as they call it here).

So much fun. I love this age!!!

Nursery

We have finally (mostly) finished Layla's nursery. :-) Yay.

I made the paper balls (they weren't that hard actually). The hanging pictures are above her changing table, which is causing a problem because Layla finds great joy in pulling them down....

sunday

buttery sunlight

happy giggles

creamy skin

world of wonder

trying new things

baby aroma, awaken from a nap

shrieks of delight

burrowing in blankets

cuddling on my lap

reading books together

devouring a peach

learning how to tumble

falling asleep

peaceful

at rest

still

sweet happyness

delighting in love

the love of a family

so blessed,

so blessed.

Baby Food

So far I have hand made all of Layla's baby food. Which actually hasn't been as hard as I thought and has been a lot of fun! It's nice to have a little baby puree thing, but it isn't necessary. Most food you simply steam and then blend and serve. You can make enough to refrigerate some and then freeze any that won't be eaten in the next few days.

I have especially enjoyed getting organic local veggies and then serving them to Layla! We have an awesome Farmer's Market, and my awesome mom has an amazing garden that she generously gives much of its produce for the little one. :-)

Automatic Release Point (Best Trick EVER!)

If you have ever been around a baby, you may have noticed that they LOVE to grab things. And prying their little fingers off can be quite a challenge! The more you pull it away, the harder they cling onto it. So here is a trick I learned while camping, from our friends who learned it from an occupational therapist: take your index finger and thumb and place them on either side of the closed fist (at the palm level), press firmly (but not too hard), and the fingers will release. Watch the video below for a demo (and better understanding). :-)

Rugged Exposure: Our Camping Trip!

Layla went on her first camping trip! Well, technically her second (since we went camping in Death Valley when I was about 8 weeks pregnant). But her first that she could appreciate! And she was quite the trooper. As is typical for her, she had a rough time falling asleep and definitely didn't clock the number of hours she needs for true rest, but it was enough. I fared worse than her, thanks to the annoying group across the creek that wouldn't be quiet until 1:30 am and then the drunk dude upstream that decided to serenade the camp with guitar at 4:30 in the morning. But other than that, it was fun to be in a tent again and out in the woods!

We took her pack 'n play, so she had half the tent....haha. We also took her Deuter Kid Comfort III which we just bought on Thursday! So excited to use it---it was GREAT! She took a nap in it during our hike and the sun roof kept the sun almost entirely off her. Also used a fantastic sunscreen from Australia (it's called Soleo Organics; I bought it from Summer for Kids in Montecito).

From finding a beautiful refreshing waterfall (with a hidden cave underneath it to crawl through!!) to going on a stinkin' hot hike in the backcountry of the Los Padres National Park, to finishing it off with a swim in a wild lake, it was quite a wonderful trip. S'mores, views of the stars, the creek singing a gentle lullaby throughout the night (with aforementioned disruptions of noisy laughing neighbors and drunk guitarists), baby's first skinny dipping experience, sweating like a mad cow, driving through the forest, hanging out with friends--a wonderful camping extravaganza.

Unfortunately I didn't realize how hot I got, cuz I came down with heat exhaustion and we had to return early. :-( But the trip was a blast. Can't wait to do it again!! Maybe not on the hottest weekend of the summer next time...that would be better I daresay.

Stay tuned because on my next post I am planning on sharing with you the best trick I've learned for dealing with a baby!!!! You will want to know this trick if you ever anticipate having or being near a child ;-)

Guess what?

When did "we have exciting news" become code for "we're pregnant"? That's what I want to know.

Not that I am negating the exciting-ness of new life and pregnancy. I am not at all intending to do so. But it gets a little old when you say "Guess what?" or "We have exciting news!" and people (random people) jump in "You're pregnant!" um, no. Actually, and thankfully. Not ready for another one just yet.

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Part Two: Updates

Layla is now sleeping through the night! For the past four nights at least. I hate to make it official because that means she will probably wake up multiple times tonight just to prove me wrong.

Layla is also crawling (like real, official crawling) and pulling herself up (although only onto her knees, not feet) and eating real food (her favorites are banana and carrots) and otherwise being her simply delightful self.

She's quite the fun little person. Very determined. When she wants to do something or get something, she is not easily deterred. She doesn't cry or whine when thwarted--instead she reevaluates and figures out how to get it another way. Persistent.

I love this girl.

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Part III: Plans

-Camping this weekend!

-Passport in the mail!

-International flight coming up in four months!!!!!! (that is our exciting news :-) guess where we're going?!)

Nursery Inspiration

Just wanted to send you all a cool website my friend Emily showed me the other day...it's www.ohdeedoh.com and they have tons of inspirational nurseries.

A few of my favorite rooms:

I absolutely LOVE the map in this room! Sooooo cool.

The balls hanging over her crib are so cute! I think I want to make some of my own and hang them in Layla's room. :-) Martha Stewart gives instructions on how to make them here.

City skyline? What a cute idea!!

This is my absolute favorite room I think....check out more of the images here. If only I could design like this....

Birth

My good friend Emily just had her baby boy, Elijah Kai, on Tuesday night! See her beautiful blog here. I am so excited for her--and especially because she was able to do it naturally! Which is really an amazing thing...

Having a natural birth (and by natural, I mean no drugs or synthetic hormones [ie. pitocin] or epidurals) is an incredible experience. I was able to have Layla without the drugs or epidural, and it was unbelievable. So intense but so amazing. It's impossible to describe the surge of emotions right after the baby is finally born. And labor itself is, of course, quite a lot of work! I have never in my life concentrated so hard or been so focused or so immersed in anything or experienced such intensity. But wow, what a payoff--to hold a beautiful brand new life in your arms. What a privilege.

Remembering back, one thing that helped me the most was to match my breath with the strength of each contraction. The stronger the contraction, the stronger I would inhale and exhale. Focusing more on matching its strength than thinking about the pain. That was helpful. And also simply surrendering to the process--to my body, to the sensations/pain. Birth is a sacred, powerful event...for me, it was something that opened my eyes to what Jesus Christ went through in surrendering his body to the will of God.

Here is an entry from my journal shortly after I had Layla:

In preparation for Layla's birth, i did a lot of reading and here's some things i thought were interesting, especially as it pertains to the biblical understanding of birth. First of all, Eve was never cursed. The snake is cursed and the ground is cursed but God never actualy curses adam or eve. Which is interesting and seldom noted by Christians unfortunately. Birth pains are a consequence but not a curse. Secondly, the Hebrew word used in the passage [estev] is the same for both the man and the woman's consequence. For the woman, English translators have termed it "pain" and for the man, they term it "toil". Curious, isn't it? It's the same exact word used, and in fact throughout the bible when this word is used, it is translated "toil" in all circumstances except for regarding women and childbirth. Not sure why translators have decided to do that--it's not exactly fair to the text or to women.

Now having gone through labor and without any pain medication, I will say this: there is an element of pain to be sure but this pain is magnified when resisted and becomes bearable only when accepted and surrendered to. Furthermore, it is the sort of experience or sensation (or toil, really) that involves a complete focus and total engagement with in order to endure and overcome it. And while it is excruciating and unbelievably intense, it is a beautiful thing when it has been accomplished and when it is finished. It is toil, it is labor, it is something that cannot be slept through or done half heartedly but must be met with total attention and will. It is definitely a very real "dying to oneself."

All that said without trying to show a parallel with Jesus Christ and his death, but when I reread it with that in mind, it is really quite amazing. Because that is exactly what He did for us on the cross. He made it possible for us to be born again--through him! Christ births us. And so isn't that incredible? Jesus labored on our behalf and we are born through him. But he is the one who had the complete focus and surrender and submission of his body to endure that process ordained by God in order that we might live. Truly incredible.

Going through labor and birth was an amazing experience for me. Unlike any other, out of this world, opened my eyes to a new reality in many ways. And it truly is different from pain as we understand it and as it occurs in other contexts. It is something wholly other. Not to say it doesn't hurt--oh to be sure it is overwhelming! But it is something amazing because it results in life. Through submission of my will and my body, through accepting the pain and laboring in that process of birth, God brought forth the new life of my daughter. Through Christ’s submission of his will and his body, through accepting the pain and laboring in that process of death, God offers us new life spiritually. In an incredible way, Christ conquered the last enemy (which is death) and is able to offer us life! His death was the necessary process through which we can have life. Christ had to be fully engaged, fully focused on the goal ahead. And when he had accomplished all that needed to be accomplished, He declared "It is finished." And now he has the reward of having children, that joy of having accomplished what He set out to do.

Layla and me just minutes after her birth.

Friends visit!

Our dear friends came and visited from Colorado! It was simply wonderful to see them and meet their baby girl. What a cutie! Jonny and Emily are some of the sweetest most loving people and truly delightful to hang out with. We enjoyed showing them little Carpinteria and we discovered this amazing collectibles shop. So fun. :-)

Emily and I decided it is unfair that these little girls always feel obligated to do their worst to their mommies and let their daddies off the hook. For example, both of us have been peed on, pooed on, spat up on, et cetera--while their fathers never experience anything of the sort! :-) Speaking of which, Layla spat up directly in my eyeball yesterday. I could not believe it. And what's worse is the spit up was mixed with sand (since she had managed to get some sand from the beach in her mouth earlier in the day...). Yuck.

Firsts...

Layla loves playing in the sand...

....and I do too. :-)

Other firsts in the past few days: first time in the shopping cart baby-seat, first time in a Target, first time in the nursery at church, first time having oatmeal, first time in a high chair, and first beginnings of crawling! Seems like she's the same for a few weeks and then boom-you get a whole slew (slough?) of firsts all at once.

So much fun lately. We love this little one.

Slowly but Surely

Slowly but surely we are getting settled in to our new home! The two bedrooms (ours and Layla's) have been painted and furnished. The living room remains yet to be perfected.... :-) In the meantime we have established quite an adorable routine for Layla's bed & nap time, which involves snuggling with her kitty cat from Great Grandma and Grandpa in Florida. She has been introduce to water in a sippy cup, and she very avidly loves sticking it in her mouth and sucking on it! She hasn't got the hang of swallowing the water just yet, but she sure enjoys making a mess all over the couch and floor and her shirt. And, believe it or not, she is in the early stages of learning to crawl: pulling her legs up under her and scooting forward.

sea

In honor of Nathanael's birthday, we went on a surprise whale watching cruise. Being on the water made me realize just how much I have missed being on the water! The ocean is so vast, so calming, so relaxing. It's a different world out on the water. Somehow your cares and concerns seem to float away as all you focus on is the peaceful lapping of the water, the playful dancing of dolphins, the beautiful relationship of a mother gray whale and her calf making their migratory route to find food in colder waters. Add to that scores of jellyfish, sky diving pelicans, and bobbing sea lions...it made for a fantastic day.

I love the ocean.

Happy Earth Day, earth.

Happy Birth Day, Nathanael.

Exercise

During pregnancy and now mommy life, exercise is sometimes a challenge to fit in. But so important! And honestly, I always feel so much better about life and everything after some good exercise. :-)
For those in Santa Barbara, there is an excellent pre-natal class taught by Tracy Schmidt at the YMCA on Hitchcock. She also teaches a post-partum exercise class which is also awesome! I highly recommend it. :-) The first session is free, and you don't have to be a member of the Y to join the class. After that it works out to about $5 a class. Anyways, it's super fun--dance, stretches, breathing.

Peek-a-Boo

So yesterday Layla created the most adorable game. After she finished eating, she looked up at me with her big sparkly blue eyes and then cracked the biggest grin. Seeing she had my attention, she buried her head in my arm, then looked back up, smiled, and buried it again. She repeated this most beautiful game of peek-a-boo several times.

I wish I could describe the emotion, the feeling. It's like falling in love all over again. With my baby. And as both Nathanael and I fall in love with this little person, we fall in love with each other afresh. It truly is beautiful.

Fall in Love: Layla's Video

The Layla and Mommy Video from Sacred Space by HESCHLE on Vimeo.