Sacred Space + Meg Fish Photography

Super exciting news!

Sacred Space by Heschle is partnering with Meg Fish Photography to do not just maternity videos but also newborn videos! What a treasure to keep forever and remember this special time in life. We (Nathanael and I) are quickly learning is just how fast Layla is growing up! She's rapidly approaching 4 months and changes by the day.

Meg Fish Photography (www.megfishphotography.com) is a beautiful gift in Santa Barbara and Ventura counties. She photographs pregnant women and newborn babies in a stunning artistic way that will blow your mind, soften your heart, and make you fall in love. Check out her blog here.

We are SO excited to work with Meg and her clients, having the privilege to preserve memories for individuals and families as they begin new seasons in life.

Super Snazzy Baby Stuff

So just for fun, check out this snazzy baby stuff....they have some pretty awesome (and $$$$$) pieces. Fun to look at and dream a little. :-)

This is such a beautiful crib...and I could never afford it.

But isn't it beautiful?

I believe I will always think of Layla as my little princess. :-)

Character

God really does care more about doing things in us than doing things with us. Character is his first priority, far more important than accomplishments. Sometimes I get uptight and impatient, wanting God to do something with me, not realizing that this time is crucial because of the character He is forging in me.

Oh for patience, for wisdom, for submission.

family

Valentine's Day family photo

Control

I tend to get irritated with the people closest to me when I feel my sense of control vanishing. Control of my future, control of my life. It is rather disconcerting to feel out of control, and to be unable (or to choose to be unable) to take any steps to regain that control. God wants us to live our lives in dependence and submission to Him, which means that HE is in control and not me. Easy to say, hard to live out.

There are so many things Nathanael and I want to do, yet God seems to just keep us here longer and longer. We want to walk in obedience to God, and we want this more than to do the things we think we want to do. Still, it is a daily struggle to surrender.

Having a baby challenges your sense of control. First the baby takes over your body from the inside, and then once out, does the same thing on the outside! Physically speaking, we're talking about feelings of nausea to kicking to birth to nursing. In addition to that, the baby changes your life: you can't control how long you sleep, when you go out, where you can go, what you can do. Big time loss of control.

And yet, she is beautiful. And I love her. I know she is a gift from God, and I am so so so thankful for her. And hey, I am learning about surrendering my life to God and she is just one more facet of that lesson. So praise God.

Maybe this can be my spiritual discipline for Lent: learning to surrender. Each day, each hour. Each moment as it happens, each thought of the future. Let go of what I think I want or how I want things to turn out. Stop trying to hoard sleep or to control little parts (or big parts) of my life. Just surrender, and use this time to draw closer to God--not so I can manipulate my way for my life, but so I can know Him for who He is.

Breastfeeding and The Bottle

Part Two of Breastfeeding...

Sorry I've been gone from the online symposium for the past couple days. It was Valentine's Day and then the next day I got super sick and then yesterday I was recovering and now it is today and I am back! :-) So I am continuing my little break from the pregnancy chronicles since people seem more interested in the baby stuff anyhow. :-)

So, breastfeeding. Well, clearly I understood the benefits and superiority of breastmilk for the baby, so I knew I wanted to do that if possible. At the same time, I had a lot of friends (and relatives) who didn't introduce the bottle soon enough and as a result, their baby refused to take it. I was determined that would not be our story, as I wanted the freedom to have other people feed the babe (so Nathanael and I could go on dates and so I could return to work).

When Layla turned 3 weeks old, we introduced the bottle (with expressed breastmilk, not forumla). At first she cried a bit, but all in all she took it rather well and was well adjusted to it and switching back and forth between breast and bottle without much fuss. What I did NOT realize is that you have to be consistent with giving them bottle or else they forget how to suck (because breast and bottle employ different sucking techniques). Apparently (what I now know) you should give them the bottle once a day, at least 5 days a week, to ensure that they maintain their skill.

Well, we weren't consistent with it because we got over confident in her ability (and we didn't realize we needed to be consistent with it). And then she got a cold (around 7 weeks of age) and was unable to breathe while sucking from the bottle so we didn't force the issue. We tried to get her to take it intermittently but without much success.

Fast forward to this week. On Monday I got sick. Really sick. I have no idea what I got (food poisoning maybe?), but I was vomitting all day and couldn't keep anything down. Layla refused to drink from the bottle, but since I keeping any fluids (or solids) down, my body stopped producing as much milk. I breastfed her as much as I could but I was quite miserable. And she was too, since she was so hungry. Alas.

So lesson learned: next baby, be consistent about the bottle so that in emergency type situations, she can still eat. And, take tylenol sooner to get over the fever/sickness so you can get healthy again!

Thank God that by Tuesday I was better again and back up to normal supply. Layla didn't get whatever I had (also praise God for that!) and we are doing well. But she still won't take the bottle. Sigh. Suggestions are welcome, but I can assure you I've tried almost every nipple head that exists.

Beach Day!

Oh sometimes I simply love living in Santa Barbara. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and today we went to the beach to have a pre-Valentine's Day celebration. We were out and about today, and I loved it. Layla was quite the trooper. Here are a couple pictures from the day... :-)

Layla asleep in her HOTsling.

Under the pier with daddy. (Look at her hair?!?!)

We found this snazzy door next to the Channel Islands Surfboard shop. And so we had to take a picture. Simply had to.

Oh such fun today. When you live in a tourist destination, sometimes it's nice to take the day off normal living and join in with the rest of the world.

And now for some feedback: If you were a tourist in your town, what would you do? What is your city known for?

Breastfeeding

I have much to say about breastfeeding, but for the moment I would just like to refer you to a book on the subject. See here to preview the book.

This book I found extremely fascinating, as I am an anthropology minor after all, and it explores the topic of breastfeeding through different biocultural perspectives historically and presently. There is also a section in it on the politics of breastfeeding--also very enlightening.

To sum up the main points I learned:

-breastfeeding is a complex, learned art

-breastfeeding is better for both the mom and child

-breastfed babies have higher IQs, fewer illnesses, and lower infant death rates

-weaning a baby too early can cause gastrointestinal problems (among other things)

-many people are misinformed about breastfeeding (by doctors, by society at large) and many have never seen a baby breastfed and so have no conception of it as an option

Layla - 3 Months

Today Layla turned three months old! How incredible that this little person hasn't even existed for one year and yet has worked her way into our hearts and lives. Hard to remember what it was like before her...she is such a delight! Here are a couple pictures my friend Rachel Bradshaw took a couple days ago.

“Do You Have a Feeling?” [of the gender]

Among the many popular questions asked during pregnancy, this one ranks rather high. Everyone wants to know if you feel like it’s a boy or a girl. Well, we felt like it was a boy. In fact, we were rather sure of it. So we were extremely shocked when we found out it was in fact a girl!

We have so many friends that have gone through the exact same thing: think it’s one, find out it’s the other. I guess the truth is you really just don’t know. And you get a 50% chance of one or the other, but ultimately you’re only getting one! (Unless you have twins).

All that to say, I have learned my lesson, and next time around I will not get my heart set on one gender over the other because you can get surprised!

Traveling [while Pregnant]

We traveled while I was pregnant! It was great fun, and now that the baby is here I am glad we did it. Because traveling becomes a little more of a process with the baby out than in.

Early in my pregnancy we went to Death Valley. I had always wanted to go, and you can only really go during the spring or the winter, so we went at the end of March and it was incredible. The rock formations were so impressive and the desert was in bloom with lovely wildflowers.

Of course I was more easily tired than normal and I always had to have oatmeal handy (strange cravings), but it was super fun. And quite an adventure, since the second night a sandstorm blew through with winds up to 70 mph. Needless to say, we spent the night in the car since not even massive rocks could hold our tent down.

We also went to Texas for a friend’s wedding (walking in high heels while pregnant is exceptionally hard!), Yosemite with a bunch of photographer friends, and San Francisco for a prayer tour. Great times seeing the United States of America.

(the photo above was taken by Montana Dennis)

Vaccines and Autism...do these go hand in hand?

Ok I'm taking a break from the pregnancy chronicles and want to write about what is going on these days...

Our baby got her first shot yesterday! It was the one for meningitis. We've decided to stagger her shots instead of following the federal government's immunization schedule. After our experience with her getting sick and then the recovery that she was able to have thanks to medicine, I completely understand the argument for vaccinations. It is horrible to watch your child suffer and to watch her health continue to decline and be unable to do anything about it. How wonderful that we have vaccines that can guard against some of the most common and deadly childhood diseases.

On the other hand, I've heard too many stories of kids getting their shots and then getting high fevers and developing autism-type symptoms. And I know that supposedly no scientific research has found a connection between vaccines and autism, but I still remain slightly wary. Anyone who has worked with autistic children knows just how debilitating and life-long this condition is. If there is a correlation between vaccines and autistic symptoms, I want to be extremely careful.

Of notable interest on this topic is that the British scientific journal The Lancet that originally published Dr. Wakefield's study has retracted it. Dr. Wakefield's study can be read here. Here are two very different news reportings on the topic: Those who think there is a link between vaccines and autism and those who vehemently deny any link whatsoever .

Any thoughts/comments/personal stories?

Finding a Practitioner You Trust

So by now, we had already given some thought to the home birth vs. hospital birth question as well as the “who is going to deliver my baby?” question. Since our insurance didn’t cover home birth (and we couldn’t afford to pay it out of pocket), we opted for the hospital. [Unfortunately there is no birth center in our town, so these were our only two options.]

Initially we just got assigned an OB-GYN, and we met with him several times. Both my husband and I didn’t feel comfortable with him. I’m not sure what exactly it was…part of it had to do with the way he answered our questions (and the lack of respect he had for our desires/opinions) and also just the general vibe. We knew it was probably a problem when we were both wishing that he would not be on call when I went into labor. So we switched doctors!

I did some research and asked around, found the most natural friendly doctor in town and barely got in. And I am so glad we switched! Because later I heard some stories about the first OB we had, and I am glad he wasn’t delivering for my birth!

Do the research on the care practitioners (% of Cesareans, how accommodating are they to your wishes?) and make sure you get someone you are comfortable with.

First Ultrasound

I will probably never forget when we first saw our baby on the ultrasound. I think we were only 8 weeks pregnant, so it really looked like little more than a peanut shaped blob with a rapidly beating heart. But it was AMAZING. Incredible to see that little heart beating on the screen, to know there is a new life being formed!

I think in those early weeks, having a good pregnancy book was a great way to get excited and learn about the baby’s development. I really enjoyed What to Expect When You’re Expecting and also the website www.parents.com

Made in Tanzania

In February 2009, we went on a safari! My uncle and aunt generously gave us this top notch trip to Tanzania, and we had a fantastic time. Oh we lived it up! It was glorious. J We flew first class (amazing!! First time ever…), we stayed in ridiculously posh accommodations (so crazy!! Definitely not used to it…), and we saw way way way more zebra than we ever knew existed. Along with leopards and cheetahs and lions and wildebeest and deer and all the animals you see in the Lion King. We had so much fun on our safari—we really did. Oh and did I mention that it wasn't just a private safari, it also included hang out time and photo tips with a National Geographic photographer? Oh yes, it did.

Exclusive never-before-seen footage from our trip to Tanzania, put together by my husband. =) See his blog here.

So as I mentioned a few posts ago, we stopped using birth control in June of 2008 because we felt personally convicted to do so. This is not something I would recommend to others unless you feel God leading you in this way. For us, however, it was our act of obedience and faith.

Little did we know that this trip would change our lives forever. Because we went there just two of us—and came back three.

Was It Planned?

Ah, another popular question. People can be so nosy! When you are young or have not been married a long time, everyone wants to know if the baby was planned. Usually, I think, so they can decide if you are worthy of judgment or not. Honestly, though, whether planned or not, whether desired or not, it is a new life and worthy to be rejoiced over!

Finally I came up with an answer to this question: Yes, it was planned. Perhaps not by us, but certainly planned by God! He planned this one’s life and is currently forming her features, her personality—everything.

For those who are trying to get pregnant or planning to start a family, I think it is wonderful. It is an incredible journey. The March of Dimes website (www.marchofdimes.com) has some great tips for determining ovulation and helping with conception. Here is their ovulation calendar.

Valentine's Day

So I got these ideas from this awesome blog called Love, Actually. Anyways, you should DEFINITELY check it out. Lots of fun, creative ideas.

Here is what I decided to do:

I just converted a muffin tray into a decorative Valentine celebration dubbed the 12 Days of Valentine. And then inside each muffin holder, I placed a little note with something fun for us to do. Then each morning, my hubby gets to pick one to look underneath. (Today's was a race around the back yard. He won: 25.2 seconds. Sadly it took me 35.9 seconds. what gives?!?) Super fun! And doesn't have to cost a thing (awesome!!).

"Were You Trying?"

You know, it’s amazing how social expectations change when you are pregnant. Questions from mere acquaintances pry into extremely private matters. Such as the popular question, “Were you trying?”

This question arises from the assumption that people are either trying to get pregnant or trying not to get pregnant. And it reflects a mentality that each pregnancy is either intended or accidental.

Our answer to this question was, “No.

But we weren’t not trying, either."

Which threw people off.

Read on.

Birth control. When we first got married, I was using the YAZ birth control pill. It was the new pill on the market and very popular (apparently). Just take it at the same time every day and you basically eliminate your chance of getting pregnant. Things I liked about it: shorter, lighter, more predictable periods. Things I disliked about it: accompanied weight gain, susceptibility to sickness, moodiness.

Nonetheless, I took the pill diligently for about the first few months. Then I started sensing God asking me to come off the pill and trust Him regarding my fertility. Trust that He could keep me from getting pregnant. I also began to hear Him say that He wanted to give us a child.

Well, frankly, I did not want a child. Not yet, anyways. But I was challenged by the Spirit to really truly trust God. This was hard for me, and to be honest, at first I did not trust or obey. Then one night I got sick and threw up shortly after taking the pill. I felt convicted and knew that God was asking me to stop taking birth control. My husband felt the same conviction.

So we stopped. That was in June 2008. And God was faithful. Sure enough, He is capable both to open the womb and to keep it shut.

All that to say, we weren’t trying. But also, we weren’t not trying.

Side note: YAZ birth control is now in the midst of several lawsuits for causing serious and life-threatening complications in women taking the pill. See more here.

Reflections on my Pregnancy

I decided that, for the month of February (and possibly into March), I will look back and reflect on my pregnancy with Layla. It was, after all, a year ago this month that I became pregnant, so it seems fitting.

At the time, I did not have really any friends in town that were also pregnant, so it was extremely helpful for me to have a couple friends in other places across the country who could empathize and walk the journey with me. My hope is that these reflections will be a blessing for you, the reader, allowing you into my journey and coming alongside yours.

Pregnancy is a time of such immense change. Both the actual changes occurring at unbelievable rates as well as the expectation of change to come. In the midst of the whirlwind of growth and newness, it is wonderful to have that solid rock to come back to.

Whether you are expecting, wanting to get pregnant, just curious, or none of the above, I hope you enjoy the upcoming month of blog posts! If nothing else, I will enjoy processing it through writing. :-) And please, please, feel free to ask any and every question. :-)